Strong Partners, Different Mindsets With Steve And Lisa Thomas

 

In a relationship between a man and a woman, no one is more important than the other. They just have different mindsets, capabilities, and approaches to things. Matt Kelly’s guests today are Steve Thomas and Lisa Thomas. Steve is a physical therapist while Lisa is an expert at epigenetics. Steve is into hardcore science, while Lisa leans heavily into the emotional side of the human experience. When they have opposing views, how do they support each other? In this episode, Steve and Lisa share how they grow stronger as partners amidst their struggles. Want to strengthen your bond despite having different mindsets? Then this episode is for you. Dive in!

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Strong Partners, Different Mindsets With Steve And Lisa Thomas

Our lives are healthier, more gratifying, and fulfilled while we’re in the comforts of sustained positive energy and support from the people we love. Receiving positive energy and support is the key element to us having the freedom to live our best lives. It’s safe to say we all face challenges. Nobody gets through life unscathed. Positive energy and support from loved ones are what allows us to overcome difficult times, dream big, and excel in life.

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I am with couples that we come across who are doing life right, which is supporting each other in their individual careers so they can both live that full and embodied life they want. At the same time, harmonious together in their home life, the social aspect, and balance that all together. When you’ve got a woman and a man in a relationship that supports each other like that, it’s a positive experience. The best way to go through life is to follow those journeys and support each other. It got me thinking because that’s not always the case with couples and in relationships, and I’m going to start a database of episodes of couples that I can speak to and record with. Also, share their experiences in that aspect and have them out there so that other people can take a look at them, learn from them, and hopefully, help their relationships as needed.

Great idea.

This is good for you, Matt. I’m excited about you doing this.

Thank you. I greatly appreciate that. Why don’t we start? Introduce yourselves and if there’s something you want to promo or talk about in that manner, now is the time to do it.

My name is Steve Thomas. I am a Physical Therapist. I enjoy what I do very much. I find great fulfillment in that. I also find that there are plenty of other things that keep me interested and motivated through a whole bunch of other variety of activities. I’d say the most important would be our communication and time relationship together. That’s what keeps me motivated and moving forward.

My name is Lisa Thomas. I’m an expert, so to speak, at epigenetics. This means I find inherited patterns map within the emotional DNA of someone’s body that is blocking them. Those patterns that repeat cause us to go 2 steps forward and 3 steps back like procrastination or fear of success, it’s big with entrepreneurs. The fear of failure can be money blocks, lots of inherited money patterns, and that feeling of, “I can’t spend money.” As an entrepreneur, we have to spend money to make money. We have to invest in ourselves. That’s what I do. I primarily work with business owners.

Missy is getting so much out of the sessions that she spends with you.

She’s a delight to work with. Thank you.

Both of you are healers, one in the mindset and the other one in the body and more of a physical side. That’s quite a commonality in your relationship. Is that something? Lisa, how long have you been doing what you’re doing?

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I’ve been in it for many years. I’ve owned it as a business in 2016.

Steve, how long have you been a physical therapist?

I have been doing this for over 32 years.

How long have you two been together?

Over 32 years. I was in school when we met. Within the same month that I graduated, we got married and then I started my career.

He was getting his Master’s at USC Physical Therapy.

Congratulations. That is fantastic. Steve, one of the things that I like to talk about is that when you’re in a relationship for that length of time, there’s no set way of doing things for the entire time. There’s stuff that comes up in life and there are changes. That’s the flow that some people miss. When Lisa got going into epigenetics, did you supported and allowed her to flourish within this new environment that has come into your life and relationship?

I don’t know that I would say that I facilitated that. Lisa has gone through a few different other things that involved her time before this. I tried to always support her in it. For sure, at the beginning of this part of her life and interest, from her side, not as well supported as she would have wanted. From my side, I don’t know that I was like, “I’ve got your back, 100%.” I’m more in the world of Science and I ask a lot of questions. I test and retest to prove things.

This area of epigenetics is a whole different realm for me. I’m not able to test it, feel it, kick the tires, and understand it. That was difficult and hard not to see it. I had to take some time to process that I was going to trust Lisa. I know her heart and character and say, “You go.” I would tell people that she speaks Russian and I speak Spanish. In the world of healing, it’s a different language. It doesn’t mean I have to know it. It doesn’t mean that I have to understand it. I need to trust that she knows what she’s doing and that’s good enough.

Missy has got into the healing side of things, tarot cards, and all that. She’s led the way with our relationship with that. Lisa, do you find that women are more open to working on their minds than men are?

 

Yes. Women have this natural ability to understand. I’m not saying all women. I’m saying as a whole. We’re going to generalize it. When they have this desire to understand the emotions as well as why somebody is the way they are, they’re trying to figure themselves out too. They’re going to look for different ways to do that. In all fairness to Steve, it’s because of his resistance to me doing this, to begin with, that I can talk to the Science. I can talk Science behind what I do. With what I do, you don’t see the vibrational energy. There isn’t a visual thing to it.

In all fairness to him, it was a defining moment where I had to say, “I felt that this is what I had to do.” It wasn’t when he said to me, “Lisa, I don’t want you to do this and hang healer from the shingles of our home.” That’s a defining moment where I paused and I’m like, “He has been good to me forever how many years it had been on. I don’t want to disappoint him, rock the boat, or jeopardize our marriage.” I looked at him and I said, “Steve, I love you. We’ll get through this but I’m not going to back down. I can’t say no to myself. I want to be able to include you as I go.” He tested me along the way. He was questioning me about this and that. As frustrating as it was, I knew he was coming from the right place. Because of it, I can talk about Science.

You got deeper into your studies.

Because of it, I had to learn how to talk to him.

This might sound like I’m trying to defend myself but I want to clarify. When I would test her, it would be for me to understand. It wasn’t like, “It might be the wrong thing again.” Maybe I did say, “I don’t want you to do this.” In my mind, my recollection would be like, “I’m not sure that I want to do this.” It doesn’t matter what I think. What matters is what she felt. The best thing is that we’ve worked through the rough area.

That happens. When we get into paradigms in a relationship of, “This is the way it is. Why would you want to change anything?” Both people have to be open to growing in that moment. He did it. He’s very supportive. There’s this internal drive in me that I’m constantly on the move. I love my work. My work isn’t a drain. He finds beautiful ways to support me.

That was a long time ago when this was the adjustment coming into your relationship. You’re right. The couples that I talked to, whenever there’s a shift like this, it does take the two of them to figure out and work on how this is going to work within this relationship. Sometimes, it’s the commitment for a job that might be an hour away, whereas that wasn’t in the cards before for one of them. There are all different reasons for that questioning and trying to sort it out and be like. “Is this going to be long-term?”

First and foremost, it’s what you’re thinking. “Is this a hobby? Is she going to make this a career?” “Is he going to make this a career?” Figuring out which direction it’s going to go, “How seriously should I take this being the other part of the relationship?” You did and you came in with something unique and specialized. It’s something amazing that you’ve been doing for many years and the amount of people that you’ve helped over these years. The two of you together, the support of Steve, after the initial has been given, has allowed you to flourish in this field which is phenomenal. I’m curious about the DNA side of what we talked about. You mentioned that there’s inherent emotional DNA that can present itself. You go to the fears and all this stuff and relationship dramas. Could you go into your side of what your thoughts are with DNA?

We each have our DNA code and we cannot change that DNA code. That’s our helix. This is what makes us 5’6” or 6’2”. It gives us brown, green, or blue eyes. That’s who we are but how our DNA expresses our cell itself is within epigenetics? That gets passed down. That’s based on the life experience of our ancestors. It gets passed down into cell memory. These are called informational tags. Informational tags can get turned on at any time in someone’s life. As parents, we didn’t do anything wrong or decide we were going to pass it on. Our ancestors, it’s not their fault. This is part of life.

What’s beautiful about this is that these informational tags show up as vibrational energy around words. Every word in the dictionary has vibration attached to them. Love would be a high vibration. That’s where we want to be. Shame, which is always inherited first, is the lowest vibration. That’s what causes us to feel icky, embarrassed, and humiliated. Shame can also trap our life. An example would be as a little kid, if you got blamed for something that’s not your fault, you got punished for it. That’s a shameful feeling. The subconscious wants to help us. It’ll trap things that have similar vibrations, those experiences that have similarities to things we inherit. We store them in the physical body.

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It comes to mind, the shame does or the love vibration. Shame would be an easier one to come in to access. This is why depression is probably prominent. Different characteristics like that we see in society so often versus love. We do see a lot of love out there. It seems there is more publicity on shame or depression.

It comes into the energy field, Matt, and not just the mind. We can inherit stories from our lineage. For me, my story was I couldn’t get paid for my gifts and talents because they were God-given gifts. I had a story going on that I didn’t want to be sold as a psychic because then, I would fall into a category and I’d be responsible for people’s lives. I inherited that. In addition, I remember the opinions and judgments of my parents around that. Here I am, the unique individual in the family that happens to have been born with these spiritual gifts. I had to unwind that story.

One of the things that helped me is an awareness of these gifts that people get. There’s a gift for an athlete. I don’t think these famous athletes that sign up to be in the NBA are going to say, “I’m excited to be part of the team. You don’t have to pay me.” When I had that awareness, it was like, “Lisa, why are you doing this to yourself?” I’m able to help people through things like this, along with clearing this energy vibration. Think of them as a vibration. It’s within the informational tag in your body. Those things are released because the subconscious is like, “We don’t need this anymore.” They’re gone forever.

It’s pretty easy for us to conceptualize that identical twins have the same DNA completely. The embryo that was fertilized and then split early has the same coding. I know two twins, one is right-handed and one’s left-handed. Why is that if they had the same DNA? There are other things at play in our development. Lisa’s talking about those things. She talks about emotional tags. There’s information that codes for our development that is far beyond the physical molecules that are part of DNA.

Steve, when you’re working on somebody in the physical therapy realm, do you realize if somebody needs a clearing? I’m going through physical therapy. I had a knee injury skiing. I had surgery and I’m doing that. You work closely with my physical therapist and you chat. I see her twice a week for an hour each time. I’m picturing that if she had this type of knowledge that Lisa’s brought into the home and that you’re very much a part of. When you’re working, do you find yourself thinking, “Is this person mentally good or this person might need a little bit of mindset work?” Does that creep into as you’re working with them?

I try to be careful in that realm. I do talk to people and they asked me what my wife does. I try to explain what she does. I am not shy about commenting on that. Because they’re there to talk to me about physical things, most people are pretty sensitive about psycho-emotional things. I find a lot of people feel like, “Don’t go there with me if I start to talk about those things.” If it were like, “You need help in this area.” Most people don’t want me to talk about you need help in that area of their lives.

I’m not a medical write-off. There’s no insurance. I’m a business coach write-off from someone’s business. Their insurance isn’t going to pay for me. It gets tricky for me, too. Although the physical body will heal when these things get released, I also don’t want to be known as a physical healer in the world. That’s not of interest to me. It’ll happen. I think of it as a gift from the universe there. If somebody calls me and says, “I have cancer.” I will refer them out. It is a mind thing. When someone is sick or they’ve had pain for a long time, the subconscious is human in all of us.

Let’s say we look for what is lost. When someone comes to the point of physical desperation, then they’re looking for a miracle. This is a process. When we’re looking for a miracle, we are always looking for it to be gone. When we lose our keys, we find them. When we lose things, we find them. It keeps the brain in this cycle of, “It’s still there. It didn’t work.” It creates skepticism. I don’t want people to be let down. If they have other things to work on in their life, I’ll tell them that I will also address what this is but we’re not going to set an intention that I’m healing their body.

It starts with the mind. It can work into the body. That’s a benefit if that does happen that way. Have you ever been asked to clear somebody that has violence or aggressive behavior in their pattern to try to do something? Is that DNA? Was somebody born with that? It is the kind of DNA that’s epigenetic where it can be changed?

It can be changed. Those can be released. That pattern of anger, oftentimes, there is a parent that modeled the behavior of anger. This is why abuse is repeated. You can say the entire time you’re growing up, “I will never treat my spouse the way my dad does. I will never hit my wife as my mom does.” Yet you get into the paradigm now of the marriage. Those behaviors begin to come up no matter how hard you try. They find themselves in this aggressive nature or they’re bullying them or whatever. It’s hard and complicated but it can be released. Addiction is inherited. Even those that are born with low self-worth or have a fear of being seen or owning responsibility, addiction will come in because there’s that pattern of hiding. You don’t want to deal with it.

 

I learned earlier that I have my thoughts on DNA as I go through it. It’s a simple thought. As we’re coming up on this interview, I thought, “This could be an interesting thing to talk about.” I’ve come across the abuse thing. I interviewed a husband and wife that are retired police officers. They’ve been on many domestic violence calls and all that. They work in communication and de-escalating situations. That’s what their passion is, which is why I entertained talking to them. It was nice.

Our creator, when that individual put the two genders on the planet, man and woman, there was a colossal mistake, a short-sighted thought process. One giant thing is that the gender that is larger and stronger, the man, majority of the time, he’s loaded or she’s loaded up with testosterone and made that gender stronger, faster, more aggressive, and everything the testosterone does. There are some positives, of course. To me, that was probably good back in the day when the man was out doing the hunting and the woman is doing the gathering. That was as far as that person that created us thought it was going to go.

Now in society, of course, we’re coexisting on absolutely every level. It makes me ill to think that men are predatorial in ways. You always hear stories about females that are afraid to go for a run at night with their headphones on because they won’t be aware if somebody is going to come and attack them. That stuff goes on and on and I’m like, “There are only two genders on this planet. We all are living out here and sharing everything there is to share.” To me, that is where the DNA side of it comes in. It’s a huge mistake at the beginning of time. Is that a DNA thing? Can you work on the aggressive side of people? Is it always one-on-one when you’re working with people? Can you do it in groups?

I do both but my private work is one-on-one. I do it over the phone and recorded sessions. They get a copy of that and they can listen to it again. What happens on the replay when they listen to it is the subconscious gets on board again and will release more. It’s beneficial. I do have group things. The group is interesting and beneficial. That way, I can do the one to the many and they submit things that they want help with. What one needs, somebody else needs too. It’s almost always hands down. Because it doesn’t show up the same way, it doesn’t mean it still doesn’t exist.

What I’m thinking is that for your message to be able to get out, it doesn’t have to be people that know that they have this issue. They have these sensations. I don’t know what it’s like. I’m a passive person. Steve, I’m sure you are, too. I can tell. Thank God that there’s enough of us around like that. To speak to 100 or 200 people and weave it into as you’re speaking the way the DNA started, it’s no fault of any of ours. It’s the way we are. If you’re aware of it and you can spread the news to people that there’s a big movement trying to mellow out some of these men that are making these headlines and causing women to live in fear. At any point in time, they could be abducted simply because they aren’t as strong as the other gender that does the abducting. It’s maybe something to think about as you move forward.

I have MP3 audios available and there’s a whole series, which is a series of three hours of clearing on different types of addiction like anger addiction and substance addiction. There are ways to help people.

I’m a believer that you’ve got to love yourself first before you can love others. Do you see that in your studies when you’re coming across the people that have a block on being able to express their love and joy of being with another person? Does it usually boil down to and they don’t love themselves first? Can you bypass that?

That is something you can learn to move through. There are several things. They don’t trust themselves. They don’t want to become too vulnerable. There’s a fear of getting hurt or judged. There can even be some fear of being left behind. If they give themselves 100%, their spouse or their partner might not like them. It’s protection. Yes, it can be released.

If they give themselves 100%, meaning if they put themselves out there, it’s a risk that their partner may not like them due to them being too expressive.

If you fully expose yourself and then you’re rejected, what you have left would be the fear.

If you fully expose yourself and then you're rejected, what you have left would be fear. Share on X

It is guarded energy. Everybody can stay at their distance and we’re good. They also might not have had affection modeled in the home. I had to learn affection, which prepared me for Steve, an affectionate boyfriend. He greeted people with hugs and I was like, “This was never modeled to me. I had friendly parents but not affectionate like this.” We can learn that type of behavior. It’s harder to learn the behavior once you are in a committed relationship because the model of what a marriage looks like or a long-term relationship then kicks in.

I’m a hugger, too. COVID was killing me.

I’m glad we’re through it.

We’re getting past that. Steve, in the workplace, I always like to touch on balancing with men and women. I come from a background in real estate, over 24 years in real estate before Missy and I started CatTongue. I’ve always worked side-by-side with women. What got me going on this podcast is when Missy started working in CatTongue Grips and it was accelerating and everything else. We went to some different conferences. I started learning about the challenges that women have in a lot of different industries and real estate is not one of them. I was in a shell in that because we work side-by-side. We compete against each other. We work together and it’s what it is. I did a quick homework on physical therapy. There are 59% women in physical therapy and roughly 41% men in that occupation. I imagine that within your office and throughout your career, you have worked closely with women as equals the entire time.

You said 59% and 41%. Back when I started, it would have been even more skewed and much more heavily female. For example, in my class of 40 to 45 people, there were maybe six of us who were males and the rest were females. I’m used to a female-dominated career and profession. Oddly enough, I grew up in a home with one mother and four brothers. There were six men and one woman in my home. It was complete opposites for that change.

That’s a busy household. Can you attest to our readers out there as we’re also trying to weave in the home life along with the business life, balancing, and that men and women are equal on every aspect within the working environment? Can you attest to that in physical therapy and your experiences?

If anything, I try to keep up with my wife and not the other way around. Women, in my profession, excel with great skills.

That’s what I have found all the way along. It helps to have the balance of men and women versus a whole bunch of one or the other driving the ship. It’s nice to have that balance and decision-making process and all of it. Something that’s making me sad about COVID is that many career-oriented women ended up leaving their positions because their kids couldn’t go to school. There was responsibility now at home that they couldn’t get any help for their children while they’re out in their jobs. One or the other had to leave their job, the husband or the wife. A lot of the time, it was the wife. I’ve seen that it could set us back for years on where we were with how many women ended up coming home.

I want to put out there that I hope that their resumes are looked at the top level as they want to go back into the work world and things open up for them so they can have their life back. My whole philosophy is that person loves having a job. They’re missing that aspect of their life when somebody makes a decision not to hire them and it’s for the wrong reasons. If they’re unqualified, fine. If they’re the most qualified person and they don’t get hired, you didn’t only disappoint them but you sent them back to their husband and family disappointed, upset, and that stems into their life. They don’t need that and nobody needs that.

It sounds like you have enjoyed and valued the expertise of the female physical therapists you’re working with, right?

Very much.

That’s exactly what should happen. You pick the best no matter what it is. Maybe one analogy would be, for example, is a football team. Who’s more important, the running back or the lineman? That would be hard to say because unless the lineman is blocking, the running back is going nowhere, and vice versa. We get those confused in our society because we pay the running back more. That is a matter of one running back versus another. It’s not running back versus lineman value. The same thing goes for men and women. No one is more important than the other. They can have different capabilities, mindsets, and approaches to things.

You’re talking about how it’s more women first and men to note. I’ve been with her and she’s had two different interns come in from the University of Utah. They’re both young men, both students at the U that she’s training. They’re hanging around and watching what she does as it goes align. It’s cool. Lisa, would you be open to expressing how Steve has supported you through these years? Over 32 years of marriage is something special. I cherish that. Would you like to talk about that a little bit?

I would love to. I shared the struggle in the beginning. I couldn’t do what I do without his support. He shows his support in ways that give me time. Time is a love language for me. Oftentimes, I’m up editing, writing content, or I’m on a late-night whatever it is. He always cooks dinner. In addition to that, he does 100% of the grocery shopping. That is because he loves me and he supports me. I don’t have time. I do not enjoy going grocery shopping. It’s cold in there and I don’t like to be cold. He doesn’t mind. For women who are leaders in their profession, they’re striving for this goal that they have, or whatever that is, it’s important for women to be grateful for what their husbands are able to do. Women will get into this cycle of never doing enough. They have to read our minds. We need to be mindful of what we do. I am beyond grateful for how he supports me in my work

The kitchen is the middle part of the home. It’s where so much can be shared. I love to cook, too, Steve. Missy does a lot of the cooking here but I like to dive in. I always help with the dishes. I make sure that she’s not doing all of it. That’s how we work through that. That’s nice. We’re getting towards the end here. This flew by as I thought it would. You two are interesting and wonderful. Thank you so much. There’s one question I’d like to ask. When I was doing my homework to sort out this episode and getting different stats and stuff, and seeing if I was going down the right path with this, I came across an interesting and disturbing stat. Within our country, the statues are in prominent locations all over the land. From what I saw from the Smithsonian, there are roughly 400 statues of women and 5,000 statues of men from over the years. I thought to myself, in every interview, I’m going to wrap it up with a question asking each of you if you would. You can choose any woman from any period of history that you feel would deserve a statue in a prominent location anywhere in the US, who would that be, and why?

Mine would be Maya Angelou because she embodies what I do. This one saying is how I try to show up in life and she says, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I love that phrase. She’s the one that started that?

Yes, she is. It often gets misquoted. She is the one who said it first.

I’ll cut out one part of it. I’ll say that they’re not necessarily going to remember what you said but they will always remember how you made them feel. That’s such a cool way to go through. Even if you’re at the supermarket and you run into somebody briefly, that’s a quick couple of seconds conversation but if you’re smiling, they’re going to remember that. You possibly put a smile on their face. I love that one. Steve?

This might sound sappy but if I had to choose one, it would be my mother or Lisa’s mother. These are women who shaped the lives of their children in amazing and profound ways. If I were to go beyond that, I might choose someone like Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She’s someone who sought to excel and was able to excel despite all the counter-current that she had to swim against. She was an amazing person. She has been a star for many people to emulate as well. That’s an amazing person and somebody that should be considered for a statue.

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I’m sure she’s got one coming. She earned that. Before we wrap up, Lisa, you touched on a lot of this stuff that you do. You did not mention your book and I thought maybe it would be nice for you to mention your book if you wouldn’t mind.

It’s called Mistakes into Money. This one is written for women but I do have one that I’m working on for men. Women tend to hold themselves more often back when they could have or should have done it differently. I give examples from my life as well and client’s lives that are not the case. It’s in those things that we view as mistakes that bring us our life purpose. Thank you. You can find it on Amazon.

Everybody, go grab that. That is a good, beneficial read. Thank you so much. I know you’re busy. To take the time out of your day and spend it with me here means a lot to me. I’ve been looking forward to this for quite a while.

So have we. We were honored.

It’s been a pleasure, Matt. Thank you.

It was an honor for us to do this.

Thank you. I appreciate that. Have a wonderful rest of your day.

Thank you.

We will see you around. Have a great one. I really appreciate it.

Important Links:

• Lisa Thomas
• CatTongue
• Mistakes into Money
• Amazon – Mistakes into Money

About Lisa Thomas

Lisa Thomas is a sought-after epigenetics expert, speaker, author, and transformational leader who contributes to society by facilitating accelerated healing.

Through the expansion of self-awareness, people are empowered to embrace collaboration and contribute to transforming the future of society.

She has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their business and life goals by releasing Inherited Emotional DNA, such as fear of success, fear of failure, anxiety, procrastination, fear of public speaking, false money beliefs, relationship drama, and business stagnation.

Lisa achieves this within her small-group programs, private coaching, Infinite Opulence – Healing Activation products and her Soul Awakening Method ( ™) Certification for healers. She lives in Los Angeles, California, with her husband and family.

Lisa has been featured on Good Morning LaLa Land, Allie & You, Dare to Dream, Inspired Conversations, Spirit Purpose Energy, as well as other stages and podcasts. Her book, Mistakes Into Money, is available on Amazon.